Am I good-looking enough?…

There is so much pressure for women to be physically “perfect” these days. Beautiful princesses in childhood. Beach-body Instagram posts in later life… We live in a visual culture & are constantly bombarded with images of what is currently considered “beautiful.”

It’s helpful to start by thinking about what we mean when we say ‘beautiful.’ Does being ‘beautiful’ mean fitting into some accurate mold of what you’re supposed to look like? Or is it more complicated than that?

While certain traits or physical characteristics are more celebrated and valued in modern society (and unhelpfully reinforced in the media), there are no criteria for attractiveness. The phrase ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ may be a cliche, but it holds: what is attractive to one person may not be appealing to someone else – and vice versa.

In truth, we tend to feel more attractive when we enjoy healthy self-esteem. People with high self-esteem tend to feel beautiful because they simply feel good about themselves. They think they are desirable – and see themselves as such. Less favorable people tend to emphasize what they see as the bad parts of themselves – and therefore tend to see someone less attractive when they look in the mirror.

When we stand in front of the mirror or think about how we look, we tend to zoom in on what we believe to be our “problem areas.” The reality is that no one is looking at us in that much detail.

Remember, BEAUTY IS LINKED TO HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES, NOT JUST HOW WE LOOK!

Concentrate on what you do like about yourself (physical or personality traits.)

You do not need to be physically “perfect” to be beautiful!

Our advice:

Comparing yourself to others can put you on a downward spiral of negative thoughts.

The next time you catch yourself comparing yourself negatively:

• Notice the thought pattern & purposefully choose to change your mindset.
• Remember, you only see part of the story. Usually, the public image other people display is very different from how they feel underneath; on social media & at parties; people will show their best bits (often with digital enhancement)…
• Start thinking of yourself as an ENTIRE PACKAGE rather than a selection of parts.

• Write down three things you like about yourself & keep encouraging yourself.

References: https://www.relate.org.uk